you could make me happy this way

/edit/ [this is a newer entry, after phoning my dad. A more composed entry]

There is a new system for vet course. Now instead of taking 6 yrs to complete the vet course, I need SEVEN YEARS to do it. :’( and the moment I heard this, the first word that comes to my mind was, MONEY. Where the hell am I going to find the money to support my anuder year of studies. WHER WHER!!! n my poor dad :’( he have to slog his guts out to provide for my DAMN expensive tuitions fees and DAMN high living cost :/ I feel so selfish. The vet dream is starting to drift further and further away from me alrdy, I feel. Just when I tot, I am nearing it, by coming all the way here. This is the new system.

(THE OLD SYSTEM)
After WAUPF (year 12 foundation course), get an average of 85% for all subjects+work experience+interview+personality test, 5 yrs of VET SCIENCE COURSE

(THE NEW SYSTEM)
After WAUPF (year 12 foundation course), get an average of 70% and above for all subjects [not sure if the experience and all counts for this round of exams], den one yr of GENERAL SCIENCE. Den get top 2% of the ENTIRE cohort, 5 yrs of VET SCIENCE DOUBLE DEGREE COURSE

2%, yah ryte. As if I can make it like that, with competitors that are scoring almost full marks for all the test, I am starting to feel damn demoralized liao can. :S now nt only am I stressed over the SUPER HIGH entry requirements, the cost of it is also burdening me. Why why why why why do I even have this damn stupid dream. Its like, so wad if my dreams are fulfilled?! Its fulfilled at the expense of my dad and sis. My god, I really feel like the MOST SELFISH person on earth. I should just die or smth. :’(

or

or

or

I give up………………………………………….

Bt that’s, wad I wan most in life. I can give up anything other things except for the wonderful pple in my life for this dream….

{ 3/30/2007 }